I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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