She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
