4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I believe in your delicious
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
