you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
pray to the hookup gods
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
