Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
