he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
