he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
