just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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