I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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