Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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