She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
