There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
