im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
