Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
there is puke in my bra ... again
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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