Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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