Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
