He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
