You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
All I want is dick and wine.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
