No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize