I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
