can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize