I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
