He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
