i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
