do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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