flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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