u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
