you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
