ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
