Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Mom said you looked used
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
