You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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