idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
