garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
