this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
