we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
