I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize