My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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