The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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