Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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