he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
