butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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