Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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