I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
