I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
