How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
