i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
