I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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