There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
