Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
