Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
