Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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