Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
