Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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