swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
