so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
