At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
...so i touched it.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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