what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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