I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
